Nadir

Man Mountain is looking very gloomy. It seems he is keen to get his motorbike back on the road after the endless, dreary winter and has just heard the forecast is set to change back to rain, rain and more rain.

He hauls himself to standing with a sigh and I suddenly feel very short. It's like having a benign grizzly rear up and I decide that camping in Yellowstone is definitely off the holiday list. Up close all of a sudden, I think that he's wearing a heavily patterned t-shirt under his uniform shirt, but quickly realise he's into body art. In a big way.

The waiting area is packed. Standing room only. I realise I don't recognise anyone. This is mildly depressing, as it means that the regulars who used to share this appointment time with me have moved on and found gainful employment. A woman's pink mobile 'phone chirrups constantly with messages and she taps away, oblivious that she is sitting underneath the large sign that asks punters to turn their mobiles off.

I note Eva is back on duty and fervently hope I don't draw that straw. Next to her, Adorable Emma is her usual fiendishly efficient self, interviewing at least three people for everyone else's one, and all done with her cheery, supportive style that must grind Eva's gears.

My name is called by a new and, mercifully, mature face called Kate* who leads me to a side office. My immediate thought is I must be in trouble (distant memories of being called into the headmaster's office flash through my mind) but it seems it's just logistics. They've run out of desks in the main office.

Kate is just the right mix of encouraging sympathy that I need today and I confess that I am fed up now. Bored. Enough playing, just let me back into the world of work. Not quite Yosser Hughes, but ask again in another few weeks. She reviews my activity levels (13 applications in the last two weeks) and we have a communal moan about how crap employers are at advising applicants whether they have been shortlisted.

"Things are looking up though, lots more job opportunities and more people getting jobs locally", says Kate. Really? I brighten for a split second. "Oh, but not at your level" (whatever that is). Oh. Shoulders resume sagging.

I am too depressed to even offer a parting greeting to Man Mountain.

Outside, it's started to rain.

*Name has been changed